Sometimes parenting sucks.
I often wonder why there are such rigorous tests for becoming a licensed driver or to carry a firearm, but there are no qualifying tests to become a parent, any old dummy can do it.
There's no instruction manual that the hospital sends you home with, no "hey! you might wanna expect this in the next few years". Nope, they just make sure you have a car seat, and smile and wave you out the doors!
The first few years, looking back, were the easiest, if you're currently in those years, try not to despair! I heard a quote years ago that said "the days are endless, but the years fly by" this is the truest parenting statement I've ever heard. I was certain my son was going to be 5 weeks old forever, and then 8 months, and 19 months, 3 years...etc.
Take heart. They do get older. And with every new age comes a new challenge. My son is 8 (he'll be 9, June 27), and he already knows everything. :) He's not a sporty athletic kid, he's a reader; he likes video games, YouTube and his books. He's a deep thinker, a litigator (he will argue about EVERYTHING!), honest, thoughtful, sensitive and sweet. He's whiny, and emotional, and tends to get frustrated easily, and like most kids, thinks a Band-Aid will fix any bump.
As I only have one child, I'm learning vicariously through my cousins and friends kids and my youth group kids, what teenagers are like.
I know that they can be amazing, awesome, funny, entertaining, encouraging people that I love to be around! However, I also know that there is a dark side lol. I know that there is an underlying evilness (sort of) to teenagers.
I'm not sure what it is about the teenage years that turns kids into this....thing. But it seems to be universal, I'm sure if you asked my mother, she would tell you that I was no different during those years. There's an entitlement, an attitude, and an aloofness that is all rolled up into a ball of angst that builds into a wall of parental resentment.
Now, I know that not every teenager is like this, and that they're not like this all the time.
I know that when they reach the age of driving and girl/boy friends that they want some freedom, but what I don't understand is why they believe that freedom is something they deserve? Or once they have a license and a car, why they suddenly feel they are free to roam the country side as they please? Or why getting them to help around the house is a chore in itself? I feel like if you ask a kid to put the dishes away, you might was well have asked them to repave the driveway or change the oil in the car!
I've been trying to examine why it is that kids have the idea that they are entitled to do what they want when they want, and I think I may have come up with a possible answer....to some degree.
I tried to think of the way I thought when I was a teenager and what was going on around me and the responsibilities and duties I had at that age and I realized that I had a lot going on. When I was 16, I was in high school, had a job, had responsibilities at home and struggled with depression and emotional issues.
Not that every teenager has all of these issues but I realized that when I was a teenager, I had no idea what my parents were dealing with. I was concerned with my issues, I was dealing with MY homework, MY work schedule, MY feelings and so forth. So when my parents asked me to vacuum or put dishes away, I didn't see it as something that was legitimately helping them out, all I thought was "UGH! Don't you know what I'M going through!" I think the teenage years are about self discovery and finding out where we fit in, but it should also be about understanding where others fit into that dynamic as well.
While it may take some time for the realization that the outside world does in fact exist, they will get there I think. We were all teenagers, right? While we probably don't like to think that we were THAT bad...we probably were...just ask your mom!
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